I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
