I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
