hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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