we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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