Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Let's paint friendship bongs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
