Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
