the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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