big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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