Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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