the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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