you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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