I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
