Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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