doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
