so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
