whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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