please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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