she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
