I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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