Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
