I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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