Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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