I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
