At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
