is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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