Can i not drive my cunt home
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
BRING THE BAGELS
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
