i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
