What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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