why didn't you poke me back
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
