She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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