Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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