So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
