Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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