just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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