I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
