last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
