Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
