I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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