You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
