There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
