so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
