Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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