I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
