I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
