I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
PANTIES FOUND
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