We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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