Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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