There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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