So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
