ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
